.::Loving memories, Nenek::.

14 March 2004 @ 6:44 p.m.

BY READING THIS ENTRY, YOU ARE ALREADY BOUND INTO SWEARING THAT AFTER THIS, YOU ARE TO KEEP IT INSIDE YOU, NOT A WORD, LOOK OR DEED... AND TO NEVER MENTION "THE PERSON" EVER AGAIN (THAT INCLUDES THROUGH THE CHAT BOARD)... AND ALSO YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO GIVE THE PASSWORD TO NEONE, EITHER.
BREAK THIS, MAY BAD LUCK BEFALL UPON YOU.

Suffering 'til 13rd March 2004 and struggling from 19.00 til the end at 19.30.... I don't blame you for leaving. You had stayed long and suffered enough. And on that day I knew something has gone wrong because during that day and time, I had a conflict. It's time to leave the harshness of reality and fly freely like a dove.... I will always keep you in my heart.

Thanks for everything.... providing shelter and protection since I was young, eventhough we didn't communicate with each other that well, but we managed to communicate with each other through our heart and mind. All I can blame is Society, the bloody business system of MONEY!! That is the reason for our seperation and why I can't be there to see you leave.Take care of yourself and whenever I feel alone, sad or depress and long to escape from reality, I'll search for you in the sky at morning, the stars at night and my heart and memories, same with you Nenek (1997). And thanks also for praying for us for our safety and blessing me and "him" when we were a few months old, I shall never forget it. Yes, I heard and was told more about you before staying under your roof for a period of time. It's too bad about the "adult" and "children" thingy.... even if I was too young to know about it, I would have eventually understood it later if only if you adults would have told me.

This entry is dedicated to you, the Loving memories of Ah Po and those things I had said above is what I would want to say to you before you left. May God take you into his hands and take care of you. Adieu.... Adieu.... dipilih menunggu...Saya cinta yang tidak berbalas mu dan wish me luck for living through this hell. (My Bahasa Melayu sucks... it's been long since I spoke of or even used it! Damn Society...)

I wonder what can be so bad
That it makes you want to die
I wonder what could be so tragic
Makes you want to take your life

You have your savior on the cross
While you sit on the throne
Put youself up on that cross
Put your savior on the throne

And I know
It's hard to take what's happening
And I know
Life is tough sometimes
And I know
It seem like there's no hope for you
And I know
Your life is worth more than you can say

It's hard to see beyond your pain
When you feel so dead inside
It's hard to see what you've been given
It's hard to find a hope in life

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