gothic counselling

16 October 2003 @ 9:48 p.m.

Current Mood:

After the rush and the hush of my history coursework, i have experienced the beginning of a 'miserable life'...but thanks to Goth culture that makes me more tolerant to accept the pain of working at night, (here, let's cheer DD for her tremendous effort, whilst really lessen her sleeping time.)

and facing the pain of the reality...Also, wiccan goddesses for actually listening to me, and giving useful advice....

Enough about my life, it is beautiful in the reality, but there are many hidden sombre scenes..

There are violating scenes happening everday in this supposedly 'modern and improved society' - wars, racism (generally and if you watch the Turkey vs England Euro Qualifer), violences (watch Bowling in Columbine and you will get what i mean), also, common stress....

I was surrounded by this vibrant yet mysterious force, i see black images, which indirectly converts this force into my pickled brain, that is unwilling to receive excess information. The force is soothing, like the massager, rubbing lavender oil onto my body, giving it strengh, and relaxing my much-tightened muscles. I feel that the once rosy cheeks were so pale, as if i had painted them with white paint; my eyes were carrying dark rings like a panda, like i have worked overnight (which i haven't); the nervousness of me was expressed on my bare back, stretched with black marks like i am a prisoner of war, who was tortured by other countries. The once red and lively lips were covered with paleness, as if i concealed the bright redness and healthiness with a white lipstick called illness. Bad blood, bad health, bad change - all coming towards me like death hunting for another victim....

Thanks to Wiccan goddesses and some parts of goth culture (not all) who saved me from my nightmare.

No music today, everytime i selected something - someone complains....

If you are interested in what goth is about, read on:

The more Appolonian faction were mainly concerned with the artistic and philosophical facets of Goth. They were, for the most part, fairly non confrontational in their means of self-expression. They were in most cases all but obsessed with the act of creation and the appreciation of literature, art and music. A number of them attempted to legitimize their subculture in the eyes of the parent culture with very little success. Because they were regarded as harmless, if morbid dreamers, they were tolerated.

The more Dionysan faction of Goth passionately embraced the more hedonistic and sometimes self-destructive facets of the movement. Their contributions to Goth were more ephemeral and less easy to define in traditional terms as creativity, but still were vibrant with the haunted, dark spirit of the counter culture. Some of the more prominent Goth musicians and thinkers belonged to this faction. Being more confrontational in their self-expression, they were regarded by the parent culture as dangerous and undesirable.

The modern stereotype of Goth is a twisted caricature of the more Dionysan faction that captures its decadence and tendency towards self-destruction while entirely missing its subtle artistry and depth, not to mention the entire point of Goth as a whole.

By 1987, both factions of Goth had almost completely vanished, absorbed back into the parent culture as their members were forced to accept conformity to ensure individual survival as adults. A marginal percentage of the original Goth community were able to adapt to adult life remaining essentially and visibly true to themselves, while still managing to keep the income necessary to maintain the rising price of living in the style to which they had become accustomed. By this time, the new generation of disaffected youth had already begun to imitate what they perceived of the Dionysan Goths. They had embraced the dark and dangerous style of dress and felt that the lonely, arrogant music was written just for them. The stereotypical lifestyle was adventurous and daring enough to spark their already bored and world-weary imaginations.

The "kindergothen" were met by rejection and almost knee-jerk disapproval by their parent culture and the remainders of the Goth community alike with almost no exceptions. Those few original Goths who tried to embrace the new groups were usually met with cold hostility and anger by those who had already either been rejected by others or had heard of the rejection. The schism between the Olde School and the new was widened even more by the labels of "Poseur" and "Faux Goth" that were bandied between the sides.

By the nineties, the artistry and philosophy that drove the Goth culture had been by and large replaced with attitude, posturing and dress code. The few remaining Olde School Goths and their prot�g�s had gone underground and were not a part of the new rise of Goth, refusing to have much to do with what they considered shallow, inarticulate upstarts that paid to much attention to what the media thought was Goth. They saw the new Goth as little more than a group of image driven drug addicts that had nothing better to offer than a dress code and a bad attitude. The New School's opinions of the originals wasn't much better.

In the last few years, both Olde School and New have embraced the Internet. It has become both a medium for self-expression and a battleground between them. Oddly enough, the advent of easy access to the W3 has revealed in the New School an increased drive towards the creativity and self-expression that the Olde School Goths hold in such high esteem. The New School Goths, or Goffs as many of them have begun to call themselves, have become more like the originals than either side of the schism seems to wish to admit. Hopefully this trend will continue to thrive on the Web, bringing fresh blood and a new outlook to Goth's grasp on the dark undercurrents of our society's imagination. After all, the sweetest of flowers always did have a tendency to rise from the darkest and least savory of soils.